If We Spend More Than an Hour Together

If we spend an hour together we'll spend that time getting reacquainted. We'll talk about your job, your kids, your social life. Then, we will have a chance to dig into something profound. You'll feel warmed up enough to dive deep into those layers of your psyche that you rush past most of the time thinking about day to day concerns. You'll unravel all those thoughts and emotions that you have been putting aside for a week or two. You'll finally get to crack open that content that you have compartmentalized so that you can work, do chores and live your day to day life. You'll tell me about a comment your spouse, your coworker or your kid made that struck you funny somewhere in your chest or gut. We'll identify that might have touched a nerve that you have been to busy to be curious about, or you didn't have anyone to debrief with when it happened.  You'll feel seen and validated when I tell you that I understand why you might have had the reaction you had or felt the way you did. You'll feel relieved, but then we have to end the session. That rich conversation gets put to the back burner until another week or two goes by and then you'll push it down just to function and get by. You'll forget, or a kid will get sick, you'll have an important meeting come up, you'll have to cancel or something else significant will happen that we address in the next session. I will be happy to explore that too, but it takes so many sessions to get to the heart of what those feelings, interactions and emotions really mean.

If we have more than an hour you'll get to tell me about the weekly, biweekly happenings and then dig so much deeper. We'll connect all the dots all in one session and get some or total relief from one session. You'll see that there is a belief that was formed years ago when a third grade teacher said you weren't any good with math,  but at the time your life at home was chaos and you just couldn't concentrate. You'll remember that your Mom told you that she struggled with math too and that she felt embarrassed because her parent  said something harsh about her and her math ability. You'll connect that to her mother who had to give up on education way too early. You'll realize that you have been carrying around a belief that you aren't good enough for an eternity and maybe even partially you have been carrying around a generational burden that your family just couldn't resolve because the day to day was too relentless. We'll trace back, validate and then free the stuck story.

I once spent a whole hour and a half  with someone talking about their current events and relationships. We did so much authentic, powerful work identifying patterns and exploring tools to understand and help cope with discomfort around those patterns and events. THEN, because we had the time and explored so deeply for so long,  a whole identity shaping chapter of their life story revealed itself. The walls around it had come down. The puzzle pieces had fallen in place. They hadn't thought of this particular series of events in  years. What came in the next half an hour of the session was an aha, tears of  understanding, relief and then peace.  We both left that session in awe of how profoundly important this story was to their identity. Off they went to rewrite this story in a way that was kind to that lost part of themselves. 

I am honored to get to explore so deeply with people and have an authentic connection that provides safety so that we can uncover these lost stories together.